|At the Police District to apply for my Residence Permit|
When I moved to Norway during the start of spring when the country is still very damp and gray, with snows that lasts for an hour but melts almost immediately, I immediately felt uncomfortably lonely and sad. I wanted to come back home after just a few days! A filipino friend who has been living there for more than a year told me that she felt that too and that there is something about the norwegian air that gives this certain level of sadness. This guy and his adorable 2 year old made things tolerable for me. They became my home, my sanctuary.
Things were running smooth and I was starting to gain momentum at work and even around the area as I met new friends and I got involved in different activities. All of a sudden, things changed.
He became friends with a woman who introduced herself to him when he was shopping in Sweden. I trusted him. I trusted her. After a few weeks, they started seeing each other behind my back. He started lying to me, he started making excuses for the several times he had to cancel on me. Then, his friend told me he saw him being intimate with this woman and then a couple of hours after that, he posted a photo of them together. I called his phone and he had the girl answer. That is how the relationship ended. Just. Like. That. They ddnt finish with that. Because days after that incident, they were sending me photos of them together almost everyday. It shattered me. They ruined me. I ddnt know where to start, what to do. But I had to live and move forward. How did I manage?
1. I told the story to friends. I told at least 12 people my story because telling the heartbreak over and over can get exhausting but it makes one get better. I ddnt limit it to a few people because if I told the story over and over to only a few people, they'd get fed up.
2. I drank almost everyday. My room felt very lonely and I had difficulty getting a decent sleep(3hrs everyday isnt decent) so 1-2bottles of wine every night helped a lot
3. I came back home here in PH. No better way to handle things than be close to people who matter
4. I continued with the drinking despite being home because it does help with sleep and it gives a temporary relief from feeling like your heart is being squeezed so roughly because of the breakup)
5. I stopped following him on different social media. 2 months after that, when I saw a pic of them together, it did not affect me that much. This one I think is the most effective way to move on.
6. Be with friends you can do activities with. If it's drinking, then cool. If it's going on foodtrips, even better.
During the times my heart was crushing while he was happy, did I hate him? Honestly, no. I was very hurt but I ddnt hate him. Or maybe I just cant remember any instance when my hate towards him manifested. What I can remember is that, I ddnt want to be friends with him because I was hurting and I thought I would never be friends with him because of what he did.
A year after the break up, he communicated with me. They're still together and they're even engaged! While before, I wanted them to not work out as they both cheated on their partners to be together, that time, I was genuinely happy for them.
During the first month after the breakup, things were difficult and very painful but when I looked back a year after, I was surprised that I was able to go through such a rough time. If he wants to be with me, would I take him back? Definitely not. And I am sure of that because he did tell me he wanted me back, twice. First was the day I got back here in PH, from Norway. And the second time was when he got in touch a year after. But I told him that we should just be friends although honestly a part of me wanted him back. But here we are now, better off as friends 😊